I was originally afraid to write about anything too deep or sad on this blog, because I'm not someone who wants sympathy. I don't want the universe to take a minute and play the world’s smallest violin for me in my honor. However, I've realized that if I'm not more open and I limit myself in my writing, then I'm not fulfilling my goal for this blog. I want to write about my experiences and I how I grew from them. I want to write about valuable life moments that I think could potentially help someone else. So, after this seven month break, I owe whoever is reading this some kind of all is okay in the world karaboutothers post.
At the beginning of 2019 I felt ready to become a new and improved version of myself. I was ready to try new things and not limit myself because of what someone else might think or feel. I wanted to live my life for myself. My friend Amaury has a podcast called Within and he let me be a part of an episode back in February. The episode I was on was called "Finding Your Path". I talked about my life decisions after graduating high school and how for a while, I really had no idea who I was or what I wanted in life. I still sometimes become very frustrated with myself for not knowing exactly who I am, but nobody knows who they are or has it all figured out. There's comfort in knowing that we don't have to take on life completely alone. Someone else is experiencing your same feelings. I've also become so much better at defending myself. I've realized that you have to defend yourself, because not many people are going to jump in and do that for you. Just like a corny sign near a community building in my town said this week: "it's better to be the hammer then the nail." And I'm kind of tired of being the nail. I have always struggled with confrontation and defending myself. How I changed that was by thinking about how communicating my feelings would not only made me feel better (communicating), but it how it will help the person you're having a conflict with (nobody is a mind reader). It helps that other person understand that their actions affected you in a negative way. Nothing will change if you keep your thoughts to yourself and it only makes you feel worse overtime (and it potentially leaves the other person in the situation hurt and confused.) My best advice overall is that communication is the key to any relationship in life. Don't subtweet or talk ill of anyone, just communicate. I've realized through time that you should aim to achieve grace rather than perfection and how powerful the term "perfect" alone is. Perfect leaves zero room for error, but that also means it leaves zero room for growth. If you never fail, you can't succeed. Also, as a wise teen pop sensation Hannah Montana once said, "Nobody's Perfect" and that's what's up. The perfect anything does not exist so there's no need to worry about something that isn't truly attainable. If you are aiming to become the best version of yourself and understand that you're bound to make mistakes, then life will become so much easier. Progression and self-improvement comes in waves. Be patient with the process. It's okay to not feel okay all the time. It's okay to have a yelling fit in your car. It's okay to feel what you need to feel (it only means you're a human being). What matters most is what you're going to do after your yelling fit. What are you going to do? What do you want to change and how are you going to change it? There is so much more I could write, but I'm saving some of those ideas for a separate post. However, I did want to say that my heart is so full knowing that people check out my website each week. I've seen my numbers go up a lot since I was on Amaury's podcast (again go listen to Within it's truly a 10/10). It makes me feel so happy to know that someone out there is enjoying what I write. Thank you for reading this and I know it's not perfect, but that's why I love it. -Kariann .
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