This summer, I worked as a camp counselor working with kids that have ADD, ADHD and ODD. I barely had any outside experience, but I still wanted to give it a try. I wanted to truly find out if this was something I potentially wanted to do in my future (career wise).
The first week was scary for me. I FAILED the exam we had to take our first week of training. I instantly felt like a failure and that I didn't belong. I felt I would never be able to become a children's mental health therapist, because I couldn't even pass an exam about kids with ADD, ADHD and ODD or the system we had to use. Luckily, I had amazing coworkers who gave me so much encouragement and helped me out along the way. One day I came in just carrying a lot of stress with me to work. I was trying to finish two online math courses on top of working this new job. I was at work from 7:45 until 5:45 and then from 6 until midnight I would go to my computer and get as much math work done as possible. That day at work, I was being corrected over a few things that I knew I could've done better with. In that moment, my coworker asked me if I was okay and I said that I was fine. He responds "No you're not." I go on to tell him how I was just so stressed and I wasn't sleeping much. I told him that I felt too stupid for the program and I don't know why they hired me. My coworkers reassured me that I was doing okay and that things will get easier as the next week goes on. After each week, I slowly started to feel much more confident about my position. Two weeks later, that same coworker asked me "Hey Kar, do you still feel too stupid for this job?" I responded: "Sometimes... but I am starting to feel better." He then stopped me and said "Well don't. You did an amazing job running game and skill drill today. You've been doing a great job with these kids. You belong at this job." You are your own worst critic and you can do anything you set your mind to... if you truly want it. Over this past year, I've realized that you are able to achieve what you want to achieve with passion and effort. Making excuses gets you nowhere and it just wastes so much time. For example, I took a five week math course this summer that was all online. I wanted to pass five math courses in five weeks. Was I really tired and stressed? Yes. Was I insane? Probably... but I had a huge amount of determination behind my goal. I passed all five math classes in five weeks on top of working a brand new job. If you want something, go get it and don't let anything hold you back... especially the fear of failing before you even attempt something -Kariann
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